Category: Actor Life

Actor Life, Theatre

Story Time: Let That Caffeine Kick In

Posted on by Thtrthts

A couple years ago, I had the opportunity to play Miss Honey in a community theater production of Matilda. The show was a blast, and I have a lot of great memories from the production, some of which I have previously shared on this blog. There is a cautionary tale from the experience that I like to share when I hear someone talk about their caffeine dependence during tech week.

I was never someone who drank a lot of caffeine growing up. I had never liked the taste of coffee or tea.  We didn’t drink much soda in my house. My mother had always hated energy drinks, so they were always a sort of forbidden fruit to me.

Early in my college career, though, I discovered the joys of popping the tab on a can of Monster and slamming out an essay due at 10 AM the next morning in he small hours between midnight and 4 AM. Energy drinks were a way for me to get more done, even when I was exhausted… especially when I was exhausted.

The side effect of having never drank much caffeine, however, was that I hadn’t quite figured out where my tolerance for it sat. I seemed invincible. I was 21 and dumb, and the acid and sugar didn’t give me reflux yet, so the world was my oyster.

I had especially taken to consuming energy drinks during tech weeks and before performances. It felt like a good way to get my energy up for a show after working a long shift or staying up late completing homework. It became such a habit that, for a long time, I mentally related the taste of the Pipeline Punch flavor of Monster with the experience of putting my make up on in the dressing room of my local community theater. Tasting my traditional pre-show flavor of Monster had me feeling like the critic in that scene from Ratatouille.

So, enter Matilda. This high-energy show had a huge cast, most of them children. I made the truly bad decision of accepting daytime shifts before every one of our shows: a shift before the Thursday show, a shift before the Friday show, and a shift before the Saturday show… having gone out with the cast after each of those shows, too. Suffice to say, I was tired.

No matter. On the way in to the Saturday show, I picked up my usual can of monster from a gas station, and I also picked up a second can in preparation for the Sunday show. I started drinking my monster on the rest of the drive to the theater. 

But I was just so tired that day. Really tired. After finishing the can, I realized it had not energized me as much as I had hoped. I still felt miserably drawn.

I kept thinking the feeling would get better as I spent time chatting in the green room and warming up my body and my voice. But the closer we got to showtime, the clearer it was that I might just have to perform the show exhausted. I didn’t want to do this though– it was the second to last show, and I had a lot of family coming that night!

The line of logic was sound, and the conclusion inevitable: I popped the top on my second can of Monster. I could hear my mother’s voice screaming in my head. She always hated that stuff, but I had never experienced any adverse effects from it. And, well, I was 21 and invincible and dumb.

I finished the second can before the top of the show, and I was feeling pretty good. However, my character had a bit of a wait before she first came on stage. And it wasn’t until around then that the full effect of both of these Monsters finally kicked in. 

I suppose it’s a good thing that Miss honey is an anxious character with an emotional story arc… Because I spent that show visibly vibrating with caffeine jitters, my heart pounding, my brain operating at double time. I was shivering like it was freezing cold. It was the middle of summer, in a building that had very old (read: effectively nonexistent) AC . At a certain point in the show, it hit me that the “stage fright” I was feeling was actually the physical and mental anxiety produced by drinking 300 mg of caffeine in the span of 2-3 hours, and that it wasn’t going away.

At that point, there was nothing to do but to lean into it. I embraced the anxious twitching and elevated heart rate as a character choice. I can’t say it served me well the whole show, but, well, at least I was really in character for those scary scenes with Mrs. Trunchbull.

The moral of the story is: take care of yourself during your tech week/show run, don’t try to fix the problem with caffeine, and definitely don’t try to fix it with double your standard caffeine dosage.

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Actor Life, Theatre

What to Expect When Your Kid Decides to Try Theatre

Posted on by Thtrthts

When a kid makes the decision to try theatre for the first time, it can be a surprising experience for both the child and the parent! Having some ideas of what to expect can be helpful. Whether you have any theatrical experience or not, here are some tips to help you understand what you might see over the next few months:

It’s a commitment! (But a beneficial one)

When your child is cast and you see the rehearsal schedule for the first time, you may be taken aback. Being in a show is a big commitment, and as a parent, it often means a commitment on your part, too. Rehearsal schedules can be quite demanding– even as an adult actor with lots of experience, I am sometimes surprised by just how big of a commitment a show can be.

Remember, though, that the commitment is the point. Mounting a show is a huge endeavor, and rehearsal is required to make that happen! Consider your volunteer time an investment in the program. You’re not just supporting your own child, but also everyone’s kids by donating time and energy to the program, even if the least you do is make sure your kid gets there on time.

Theatre is a really wonderful growth opportunity for kids, but that growth is very dependent on parents being able to physically get their kids there! It can be annoying, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

Some pro tips for dealing with the time (and gas!) commitment:

  • A carpool setup can absolutely save your life. If your kid has any existing friends in the cast, see if you (or your kid!) can set one up with one of these friends. Fingers crossed, your child will also make new friends who can one day be part of this carpool.
  • Pay close attention to the rehearsal schedule you receive. It’s possible that your kid is not called to every rehearsal, meaning they’re not needed every single night. Many rehearsal schedules will include a “call list” listing either the actor or character names of all required to come to rehearsal. How often your child is called is heavily dependent on the role your child has and the nature of the show they’re in, and dependent on the director’s plan. Not every director organizes their rehearsal schedules this way, either. It’s important to pay attention to all communications from the director to make sure you’re understanding who is needed each day and who isn’t.
  • Ultimately, though, remember that your child’s attendance all rehearsals they are called for is critically important to their success. It is frustrating to have to drive to the theater every day, I know– even as an adult actor driving myself to my own rehearsals, I often quibble about this– but it’s worth it. Your child will get more out of the process, make stronger connections, and stand out in a good way with the director if they are always present and prepared for rehearsal.
  • If there is a night where it is simply not possible to get your kid to rehearsal– something has come up, or your transportation has fallen through– be sure to reach out to either the director or stage manager (the information given to parents at the start of the show should explain who to contact and how to reach them) as soon as possible so the director knows your child will be absent. Think of it like calling off of work– a no-call, no-show is never appreciated.
  • If you’re struggling to find time during production week (the week of the show, where rehearsals tend to run late each night), consider reading my Ultimate Guide to Surviving Tech Week.

They will grow in many ways

It’s impossible to overstate how many opportunities for growth theatre supplies. Since every child is different, every child will take different things from their theatrical experiences. Sure, they’ll learn the show itself, but they’ll also develop a number of hard and soft skills.

Naturally, kids may develop better social skills, and gain a new appreciation for collaboration and teamwork. Theatre is also a fun, low-stakes outlet for improving reading and public speaking skills. By exploring technical theatre or theatrical design opportunities, kids can discover and cultivate diverse interests and skillsets through art, technology, and mathematics. They’ll become better connected with their peers and community at large, and will likely make some new friends! Hopefully, they will also become more independent and disciplined. 

Some tips for supporting that growth:

  • Take an interest in what they’re learning and doing! Properly encoding and understanding the material learned in rehearsal requires some “homework.” Asking your kid about what they did in rehearsal can be a good way to prompt some at-home practice.
  • Exactly what your child needs will depend on the child. For me, theatre helped me learn to be more independently disciplined and assess my own understanding of materials I’m studying. Some kids might learn best when allowed to explore on their own, and some might learn best when scaffolded more directly. Staying in tune with how rehearsals are going can help you gauge how you can best support your kid in the process.
  • Remember, the more committed they are to the process, the more they will learn and grow. It’s important to make sure your child can make it to rehearsals so they can learn what they need to learn!

They’ll Make new Friends… And you Might, Too

Your child will be spending rehearsal time bonding with their cast mates. These bonds can be super strong, and can form very quickly! Don’t worry that your kid won’t make friends in the show: it’s almost inevitable that they will, at some point of the process or another. The actors just spend too much time together to not form some kind of connections.

Meanwhile, you may find that in the time spent picking them up and dropping them off, participating as needed in parent meetings or volunteer sessions, or attending shows and recitals, you may just develop some new friends of your own! Many school theatre departments request volunteer assistance from parents, and  community theaters are always in need of extra assistance. If you’re looking for a new social hobby that allows you to practice some new skills, your child’s theatre participation may help you out!

  • Theatre friendships can be really great for young actors! Making friends with other actors encourages kids to continually assess and better their skills. Just make sure that the friendly competition that arises between theatre peers remains friendly– don’t let your kid talk badly about their own skills, or about other actors!
  • Keep an eye out for any calls for parent volunteers. This is a valuable opportunity to support the program directly. Just remember that volunteering your time doesn’t guarantee anything in return… some parents think volunteer hours can be bartered for better roles for their children, which is definitely not the case.
  • There are a variety of ways to volunteer, and volunteers are needed at all different stages of the rehearsal process. Regardless of your skillset, there’s almost always something for you! Even if you don’t have free time to contribute, some donations are almost always welcomed, whether monetary or physical goods.

It might be frustrating at times… for both of you

Theatre, especially for young actors, is definitely not always sunshine and happiness. There will inevitably be complications throughout the process. Your child might start to feel burnt out through the process, and you might start getting sick of driving them to rehearsal every night! Remember that the process offers a lot of great opportunities, and keep your eyes on those when you both start to feel the pressure.

  • It’s important for both young actors and their parents to keep their emotions in check when feeling burnt out. If you’re tired from all the rehearsal time, the show staff are certainly tired, too! Being temperamental with them may ultimately hurt your chances of participating in future shows.
  • Remember that any learning process is going to be frustrating at times. In fact, some frustration is a sign that your child is learning and growing. Allowing space for a little productive struggle is key to developing resilience and a positive work ethic!

They Might Face Some Heartbreak

As in any activity, theatre provides the invaluable opportunity for children to lose with grace. The nature of performance is such that not every child can get the role they want every time. Your kid might be a dancing fork when they really wanted to play Belle, or they might be cut from a performance altogether. Remember that this is an opportunity for growth and learning in itself, and that learning how to get back on the horse is as important as learning not to fall off it.

They Will Exceed Your Expectations

When a kid makes a decision to participate in theatre, it can be an opportunity for both the kid and the parent to grow and learn new things. Ultimately, if you invest in your kid’s interest by ensuring they’re at rehearsals when they need to be, practicing at home as needed, and talking to them to support them through their frustrations, you’ll find that your child will grow more than you expected!

Support your kids, and you may just find the very expectations set by this article smashed.

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Actor Life, Theatre

10 Reasons you Should Accept that Role you Didn’t Want… and 5 Reasons you Shouldn’t

Posted on by Thtrthts

Sometimes, casting doesn’t go the way you want it to. In fact, maybe it’s most of the time.

Auditions are a numbers game, and the numbers are, unfortunately, rarely in your favor. Some auditions will see hundreds of people auditioning for the same role. Inevitably, the competition will be fierce, and sometimes you just won’t get the role you want.

You may be offered a different role. Maybe it’s a supporting role, or a spot in the ensemble. Regardless, it isn’t what you wanted, and it can be tempting to decline the offer. Missing out on the part you had your heart set on is upsetting, of course! But there are real reasons to resist the urge and capitalize on the opportunity to be in the show.

That said, staying in the show might not always be the best answer. There are a few situations where sticking around might be a mistake.

Let’s look at 10 reasons to stick it out… and 5 reasons not to.

10 Reasons to Accept the Part you Didn’t Want

1. It’s good practice

People often say, “good luck is about being in the right place at the right time.” In the theatre world, however, I have sometimes heard the adage, “it’s about being in the right place, at the right time, with the right training.”

Getting more performance experience is excellent practice for your next audition. Performing in front of people more frequently will help you kick audition nerves and gain confidence. You also get to practice all the hard and soft skills that casting panels are looking for in the audition room: vocal ability, pitch, sight reading, acting chops, multitasking, focus under pressure…

In short, getting all the performance experience you can may help you get more experience in the future!

2. It’s a chance to make new connections

Theatre is often about who you know as much as it is what you know. Making connections is critical in an industry where personality is so important.

To be clear, this isn’t saying you should do the show just to suck up to people! Treat the process as an opportunity to make some genuine new friends. If you approach the process earnestly and openly, your social circles may grow in both personal and professional ways. You might meet the person who will cast you in your next show… or you might just meet some really good friends. Both are worth sticking around for!

3. The role might be more fun than you think

I almost always end up having fun in a production, even– and sometimes especially– if I was initially unhappy about the casting initially.

When you pin all your hopes on playing “The Lead,” you sometimes fail to see the rest of the forest for the one tree you’re focusing on. Getting cast as a role besides the one you initially wanted can open your eyes to just how exciting the other roles can be! You may find that your character is an opportunity for some huge, ridiculous acting, or an opportunity to be in all the best songs, or an opportunity for one big dramatic moment that you never realized was so awesome before.

If you can weather the initial disappointment, you may be surprised to discover just how much you love that part you didn’t want!

4. It may be a lower commitment

Something frequently seen with young actors in particular is a desire to be the lead in every production, and a dismissal of any role they declare “not big enough.” A lot of adult actors will tell you, though: sometimes, those “smaller” roles are the place to be.

The truth is that some rules demand slightly less of a time investment than others. There, I said it. This isn’t an invitation to slack off if you’re cast as ensemble, or an admission that some cast members are less important than others. It’s just simply a fact that if you’re playing a dance lead who never leaves the stage, you will necessarily have to put in more time and energy than a cameo role who comes on stage twice. Of course that cameo role also requires energy and research and preparation… and of course that actor should still do all the work necessary to present their role with depth and creative integrity… but you cannot deny that the two roles require different efforts, if not quite different levels of effort.

Whether you’re a busy working adult or someone with lots of extra time to dedicate to a production, getting a role that demands slightly less time can be a blessing (maybe in disguise). It may be beneficial to your social life or to your homework scores if you’re not called to every single rehearsal, as the lead would be. It might be nice if you had free time to assist the production in other ways– like prop-making or scenic artistry– while the leads are busy cramming lines and blocking.

In short, try to see the other opportunities getting cast in a “small” role can provide. I have sometimes found that being completely cut from shows I auditioned for during busy times of my life ended up being a relief.

5. You might share the scene with new partners

In addition to making new connections, you might share the stage with some people you’ve previous performed with countless times, but never quite so closely. Some of my favorite theatre experiences have come from getting cast in “small” roles alongside people I previously considered friendly acquaintances, but nothing more– only for us to end up having a blast together and becoming close friends!

You may initially be sad to discover that you’re cast in a role that with never interact on stage with your existing friends. Remember, the other people you’re cast alongside can become your friends, too! You may even learn some new things by watching and working with them.

6. You could discover skills you didn’t know you had

Okay, so you wanted the Romantic Ingenue Lead… and you’ve been cast as the Funny Best Friend. NOW WHAT?!

Not getting cast in the role you had your heart set on can be more than disappointing: it can be daunting. You might not understand how you fit this role. You may feel like you’re not the right person for the part. Remember, though, that if the production staff cast you in this role, they must have seen something that makes them think you’re the right choice. Trust them!

If you lean into it and use this casting as an opportunity to explore your range and abilities, you might find that you have the capacity to perform in ways you never knew you could. Try looking at the experience as a learning opportunity. The opportunity to learn is certainly there, if you’re willing to embrace it.

7. You might discover some new favorite material

Being in shows is a great way to find new songs and monologues to include in your audition book. Hearing and seeing it rehearsed (or rehearsing it yourself) during a show process is a great way to memorize it for future auditions!

You may also discover that you just love the show itself more than you realized!

8. Quitting could send a bad message

We can debate about whether or not this is fair, but the fact remains: If you clearly had your heart set on a lead, and you quit the show when you don’t get that lead, people are likely to interpret this as entitlement or a bad attitude.

To be honest, I think this is a really reductive and unfair accusation to throw at someone– production staffs cannot read actors’ minds and certainly don’t know everything that goes into the decision to accept or decline a role. My opinion doesn’t change this reality, though. Declining a role you are offered can be taken as an insult by some production staffs.

Before you decline a role, it may be worth weighing whether or not this matters to you. Is this a director you really want to work with in the future? If this decision would negatively impact your chances of being cast in the future, are you willing to live with those consequences?

Think it over carefully. Preferably, take a little time to cool off and properly consider it. (Just don’t leave the production staff hanging too long waiting for an answer.)

9. It could be a good addition to your resume

This might be a small consolation, but remember that any credit on your resume could be a standout. There might be a niche in your resume that this production could fill. Plus, theatre is an industry where knowing people is very helpful– having a resume that shows you’ve worked with a lot of different directors and in a lot of different theaters can be beneficial.

Again, it’s up to you to decide whether or not this is worth it. Think things over carefully.

10. You’d be missing out on a lot, otherwise

The majority of my readers come from community and school theatre backgrounds, where the primary focus of most productions is simply to have fun. If you quit the show because you didn’t get the part you wanted, you will miss out on all that fun!

FOMO probably isn’t the best reason to accept a role… but it’s not a bad one. If what you’re looking for from this production is a fun way to spend your evenings, consider accepting the part. Any role can be fun if you make it fun!

… And 5 Reasons Not To

Generally, the list above is encouraging you to set aside your negative feelings and give the show a chance. But is there a time where this is counterproductive? Absolutely.

There are situations where doing the show can make the situation worse. In these cases, I would encourage someone to decline the role– remembering that declining a role can reflect poorly on you, and that most of these reasons are controllable. In other words, most of the reasons not to do the show listed below are only reasons if you let them be.

1. If you ONLY have negative feelings about it

If you feel overwhelmingly bitter and betrayed about the cast list, and you sincerely don’t think all the reasons I listed above are reasons to set that upset aside and enter the rehearsal process with an open mind: you’re allowed. Seriously, you can be upset as you want, no one can make you feel differently! But if those negative feelings are going to be too powerful to allow you to enjoy yourself, you may run the risk of making the process tense for others.

I know actors who have “powered through” after getting offered a role they didn’t want. They complained about how bitter they were the entire process and were petty and impolite towards much of the cast. Generally, they didn’t make friends, and the production staff didn’t appreciate the behavior. Had they asked me my opinion, I would have told them they were better off quitting the show and freeing up the spots in the cast to actors who were willing to invest some positive energy.

2. If you won’t be able to control your emotions

Similarly to the previous point, if you truly can’t find any positive feelings to muster up about the idea of participating in the show, and you don’t feel good about masking your misgivings: then yes, you should quit the production.

Really measure whether or not you think this is an impossibility for you. Trust me, you are likely much more emotionally resilient than you think you are. And besides, the show will likely be more enjoyable than you think it will be, too: if you quit now, you really might be missing out! But if you genuinely feel that you’ll be too unhappy to avoid lashing out, then yes, please, stay away.

3. If you’re too busy to commit properly

You may genuinely have too much on your plate and feel like committing to this show after the disappointing result is going to be too much to swing. We could argue about whether or not you should audition for shows you’re too busy to commit to… but ultimately, if you feel like you don’t have the time to spare for the production, then it is better to decline the offer and let the opportunity pass you by. Being overbooked will ultimately burn you out, and that probably won’t be fun for you or your cast mates to deal with.

4. If it’s JUST to check a box on your resume

I have known actors who participate in shows after being disappointed by the casting only because they think the show will be an important stepping-stone for them, or that it will look good on their resume. This is fine, but remember that committing to a production is, well, a commitment! If you don’t have any interest in actually being in the production, your lack of investment is likely to show.

As I acknowledged in the section above, there are times where it’s genuinely worth doing a production for the padding on your resume. But if that’s the only benefit you can see, it will probably become obvious to your cast mates pretty quickly– and that isn’t usually a good look.

5. If you truly have a bad feeling about the production

This is a very genuine reason to not partake in a rehearsal process. If you feel uncomfortable about something that happened during the casting process– if you felt some red flags or general bad vibes— these can be worth listening to. I’m not talking about “I didn’t get the part I want and that’s obviously bogus,” I mean things like a disorganized environment, rude treatment by staff, or even behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

I once auditioned for a show where a member of staff tried to ask me out while casting was actively still happening. In other words, I didn’t know if turning him down meant I would be eliminated from the running. I ended up being offered a part… but suffice to say, I didn’t feel bad about turning that offer (both offers, actually!) down.

Ultimately, the only person who can decide whether or not it’s worth being in a production is you. But consider your choice carefully– there are a host of good reasons to stick it out! If one of those latter five reasons resonate with you, though, maybe declining is your best option after all.

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Actor Life, Theatre

The ONLY Reason Anyone Ever Gets on a Cast List is…

Posted on by Thtrthts

… because someone on the audition panel said “I want this person in the cast.”

This is the stone-cold truth. Think about the implications.

This means:

  • It doesn’t really matter what experience you have… you might be the most experienced person in the room, but lose out on the part to someone who has never done theatre before.
  • Practicing until your audition is perfect might be helpful, and it’s definitely better than being unprepared… but it doesn’t really make the difference, does it? You could have a flawless audition and still not make the cut.
  • Having natural, inborn talent is great and all, but that doesn’t matter much when the production staff could just decide they want someone else more.
  • Professional connections are always invaluable… but if the production staff just can’t see you working in this project, then they won’t help much.
  • You could be not wanted for any random reason: What if you remind a director of their mean ex-girlfriend? You might have made a funny face that made the choreographer think you were making fun of them. You could have included your birth date on a resume and handed it to a casting agent who noticed your zodiac sign and decided it was a poor fit for the project.

Are you lost in hopeless despair yet? Don’t be.

Yes, all those things are true. Casting is weird and random and unpredictable, and the reality is that you may be perfectly qualified, prepared, and well-suited for a part and still not get it…

But don’t give up yet, because that means it’s also true that:

  • You might be the least experienced person in a room… the other people might have flashy professional credits! You could go toe-to-toe with a Broadway star in an audition… and still get cast, because the audition panel just wants you.
  • You might practice and practice and practice and then forget every single word when you enter your audition. You leave and think “that was the most miserable failure I’ve ever experienced in my life…” and the production staff calls you back, because they just loved your energy.
  • Imagine sitting in a lobby before an audition and your worst fear walks in: that ultra-talented freak of nature with perfect pitch who can sing whistle tones while walking on her hands and performing ventriloquism. And also she has perfect hair. There’s no way you can beat someone that talented!! … but then she’s the one who gets cut, and you get the part, because the production staff just think you’re a perfect fit.
  • You don’t know a single person at the audition. Or at this organization. You’ve never even stepped foot in this venue. But the casting agent just wants to work with you, and suddenly you’re making plenty of new connections!
  • You could be not wanted for any random reason… but you can also be wanted for any reason! Maybe the director liked your sweater and remembered “that cardigan girl” when it came time to make the callback list. Maybe the casting agent saw you make a mistake that they thought was charming and decided they liked your vibe. Maybe you told a silly joke and the staff laughed so much about it at the casting table that they decided they just had to include you somewhere.

So don’t despair. Yes, auditions are nightmares of entropy, and every audition you go to and don’t make the cut can feel like a colossal embarrassment and waste of time… but just remember that it could randomly go your way as much as it might randomly not.

The only way you’ll ever get cast is if you show up. If you show up, someone might just decide they want you. Or they might not… but that’s the coin flip you’ll just have to accept.

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Actor Life, Theatre

Everyone Else has Sh*t Taste, and Why That Matters as a Performer

Posted on by Thtrthts

A few years ago, I saw a production that was so bad that when it was over, I texted my friends and said, “it should be illegal for a director to misappropriate funds like this in order to put on this poor of a production.” I honestly felt upset that it was allowed to be put to stage. How many hours of rehearsal and how many thousands of dollars were spent mounting this shocking production?

A few months later, that show came up in conversation with someone I knew from that theater. They asked if I’d seen the show, and I began trying to formulate some polite comments about it to sustain a conversation. The other party then told me that they thought it was the best show they had seen all year.

I had a sort of out-of-body experience… and suddenly, something that I’ve always been told but had never quite internalized made complete sense.

Read more: Everyone Else has Sh*t Taste, and Why That Matters as a Performer

People always say, “you can’t please everyone…”

It’s an obvious truth. There are just too many other people on this planet to try to appeal to everyone. Tastes are complex, personal, cultural, and often based on myriad subconscious impulses we aren’t even fully aware of. Why would you bother trying to please everyone? It simply can’t be done, you’d go crazy trying.

We say things like “not everyone has to like us,” “sometimes we have to agree to disagree”– many of these sayings ultimately mean the same thing, don’t they? The idea is simple: trying to please everyone is futile. You just can’t always get other people on the same page, and you have to be okay with that.

I understand that part. An element of that conversation that I think is often missing is the fact that other people by and large are not worth impressing.

I don’t say this to be a misanthrope. Other people can be great! Other people are some of my favorite people.

As an exercise, though, think about the worst influencer you know, or your least favorite actor or author, and remember: those people have an audience. There are people who follow them, people who consider them their favorites, people who would be willing to sit and argue with you about how excellent their content and artistry are.

In one sense, this is a ringing reminder that there’s no reason to get down on yourself for feeling untalented, or unlikeable, or unmarketable. Also, it’s a reminder that a lot of people do not share your sense of taste. In fact, their taste is the exact opposite of yours.

And they’re not alone. There are a lot of people out there who will vehemently insist that the worst thing you’ve ever seen in your life is the best thing they’ve ever seen in theirs.

When you participate in the arts, inevitably, you will encounter people who simply will not like your art, and no amount of self-improvement or artistic diligence will change that. You could practice your art and master your craft until the product is, to your eye, absolutely flawless, and others would still hate it.

Instead of letting this get you down, instead of sighing and thinking “well, I can’t please everyone”– remember that some people just have sh*t taste.

In fact, maybe even most people have sh*t taste. After all, since you can’t please them all, the only person whose taste should matter to you is you.

Let them be happy with their sh*t taste. You can make your art without them.

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Actor Life

Your First Audition Ever Might be Scary. But it Will be Worth It

Posted on by Thtrthts

So you’re thinking about auditioning for theatre for the first time ever.

I won’t sugarcoat it for you. Auditions are scary.

I am a seasoned performer. I have a lot of shows under my belt. Despite participating in theater for over 15 years now, I am still nervous about auditions. The process is still a great source of stress and fear for me.

So, bad news: Maybe that doesn’t completely go away. There’s a silver lining here, though, too: You don’t have to worry too much about it being scary. The good news is that we’re all scared.

It’s the truth! It’s everyone in the room. Even the people who look super confident. Especially the people who look super confident. I’ve heard it myself: I’ll be at an audition mentally ripping my hair out, and someone will walk up to tell me that I look so calm and collected… I am not!

When I say everyone, I mean everyone. Truth be told, even the show staff are nervous. They want to cast their show well. They have a lot of people to see and a lot of decisions to make. It’s scary for them, and in very similar ways that it’s scary for you. They’re also worried about embarrassing themselves or saying something stupid. They want to make a good impression just as much as you do!

So if we’re all scared, then why are we there?

It’s important to remember that question. Why are you auditioning? Really think about it.

At the end of the day, you don’t have to audition. You have free will! You’re welcome to skip the whole process. And when you’re waiting before your audition, sitting in the lobby and sweating it out, it might reassure you a little to remind yourself that you could get right up and walk out that door, if you wanted to.

But you don’t want to. You want to audition, because… you want to try something new. You want to have fun with your friends. You want to make new friends. You love the show and want to be a part of it. You want to sing or dance or act. Whatever your reason is, remember it– it’s important!

When you find that reason, auditions can even be fun.

Yes, it’ll still be nerve-wracking– but it can be fun, too! It’s just another chance to sing or dance or act. It’s another chance to hang out with your friends, or make new ones. And you might just get to be in this show and enjoy this new experience, too!

And if nothing else, remember, once you get this audition out of the way… it’ll never be your first audition again. They’re all a little less scary after that. They’re still scary… but less.

So don’t stress too much. You’re allowed to be nervous. Everyone else is, too. You’re also allowed to have fun.

And no matter what the outcome, it will be worth it.

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Actor Life, Theatre

Story Time: Be Careful What You Ask a Costumer For

Posted on by Thtrthts

Directing for the first time comes with a lot of learning curves. One lesson I learned in a very vivid way when I directed my first play was that your words matter.

I was directing Qui Nguyen’s She Kills Monsters with a local community theatre group. There is a scene where one character, Miles, appears as a doppelgänger of themself– an evil, villainous corruption of the “real” character.

The first rehearsal was our read-through. My stage manager was reading all the stage directions aloud, which made the note that Miles appeared in this scene “dressed like Conan the Barbarian” stand out. If you’re unaware, Conan the Barbarian is generally presented wearing garments ranging in description from fur skirt to fur loincloth to fur… diaper… panty… thing.

We all had a good laugh over it, and I was quick to assure the actor that he wouldn’t actually have to wear a fur miniskirt; in fact, it would probably be easiest if he just stayed in his normal costume.

After the read-through, a few actors lingered to ask some questions about costume pieces they were planning to buy. (This is a theatre where costumes are generally the actor’s financial responsibility.) During this, the actor playing Miles approached me. For context, this was a 20-something guy who I had known from afar for a number of years, who had always seemed pretty quiet and even-keeled. The actor sidled up almost shyly, and said, “you know, I don’t mind wearing the Conan outfit.”

I laughed, but he doubled down, and I slowly realized he wasn’t joking.

“Oh, it definitely isn’t needed,” I said.

“But I totally will,” he said quickly, and there was something eager in his voice that made me weigh my next words carefully.

I said, “Do you… want to wear a fur loincloth for this scene?”

The actor positively lit up. I had truly been planning on keeping him in the same costume he’d worn for the rest of the show– but sure, I guess, why not? It was literally my very first day directing a play by myself, and I didn’t want to crush an actor’s hopes and dreams this early in the process.

I (and the cast as a whole) were fortunate enough to have a talented costumer in the cast. She’s a sweet older woman who is a staple– something of an icon, even– in our local theatre community. I showed her the Conan line and asked her to make a costume for the scene. We supplied her with a ratty fur coat that we thrifted that was on its last legs for the fur. This was a bit later in the process, so the number of things I had on my plate was stacking up fast.

I had told her, “something sort of… Barbarian-kilt-skirt-like. A loincloth or something.”

She said she understood, and, relieved to check another need off my massive to-do list, I almost forgot about the interaction.

A few days later, now officially into crunch time, I was working with a few actors while the rest were on a brief break. We were reviewing some physical action, and I was very focused on the task at hand when I heard a voice.

“What do you think of the Doppelgänger outfit?”

I turned and the sheer amount of flesh I was witnessing made me avert my eyes. I supplied the photos of Conan the Barbarian above, but nothing can prepare you for seeing someone you know in real life quite that exposed. Every inch of this man’s skin was out, aside for a strip around the waist and one perilously narrow flap of fabric in the front and back.

I am pretty sure I exclaimed “oh my god.”

Keeping my eyes pinned somewhere high above the head of the actor (who seemed absolutely delighted about his costume, by the way), I explained to the costumer (who also seemed equally delighted), “You know what, I am so sorry, this is exactly what I asked for… but I think it might be a little too much?”

Thankfully, I didn’t have to ask the costumer to change much. She added a few additional bits of fur, so that the effect was a bit closer to a skirt. The actor also ended up wearing a sort of cape, which provided a little bit of much-needed additional coverage.

The first time this costume was unveiled on stage during rehearsal, all of the other actors broke character, and the whole scene was done through valiant attempts to cover giggles.

The only actor who didn’t break character was the one playing Miles, of course.

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Actor Life, Theatre

Story Time: I Didn’t Mean ALL of Them!

Posted on by Thtrthts

She Kills Monsters boasts a ton of opportunities to show off creative fight choreography. Scene 5 in particular ends with a “high-energy montage of badassery” where the main characters “kick ass by killing a crap-load of different monsters in an assortment of different ways from badass to comedic.” The script suggests including all sorts of iconic fantasy creatures to make the scene into a D&D nerd’s wet dream.

I designed all my monsters using Wintercroft papercraft mask templates as my starting point, so I was modestly limited to what monsters I could reasonably create. Skeletons seemed like a pretty straightforward option– what fantasy adventure doesn’t involve re-animated skeletons at one point or another? I decided to use a skull template to create a couple of liches for this scene. For the uninitiated, a lich is made when a powerful magic-user performs a ritual to remove their soul and become and undead creature in order to gain more power. The “soul” (or what’s left of it, anyway) is then stored outside the body in a phylactery. This means the lich can’t be damaged by regular means: if you want to kill a lich, you’ll have to destroy its phylactery.

This felt like excellent fodder for some interesting fight choreo. There are so many fights in the show, I felt like it was important to get some new gimmicks now and then. I choreographed this segment of the montage so that each lich (4 total) had a staff with an orb on top. The party would be scattered by the difficult enemies, each rushing in and out for a sort of Scooby Doo-style chase sequence. Agnes, cornered and alone, would destroy the orb on her attacker’s staff in desperation, and realize that this is the secret to defeating the rest. One by one, she would help the party destroy the rest of the orbs. This offered an opportunity to show Agnes growing as a smarter, more resourceful D&D player. (“Plus one in being less of a dumbass!”)

When I choreographed this, I didn’t yet have a plan for these staffs topped with breakable orbs– I had vague thoughts of sugar glass, or maybe something clever done with balloons?

The solution I landed on was even simpler. We were already hand-making the staffs– I found that covering a tall wooden dowel in glue and stuffing it into the hole in the center of a pool noodle makes for a boffer weapon that you can hit someone really hard with before it hurts. (Few of my actors had prior stage combat experience, so I really wanted all the weapons to be nice and soft, just in case. Regular pool noodles make for fun practice weapons, too!) For the orbs, I purchased some clear plastic balls that came in two halves. I gave them a gentle dusting of spray paint so they looked sort of mystical/crystal-ball-like, and then just hot glued them onto the ends of the staffs. The result was something easily “breakable”– the actors could rip the orbs off the staffs or break them in half, and we could just put the halves back together and glue them back in their spots before the next show.

I tested the orbs myself and felt like they were perfect for our needs. It only took some light pressure to make the two halves pop apart. And, if we went a little overboard and broke a few, it would be fine! The set I bought came with plenty of extras.

I showed the staffs to the cast. I pointed out how easily they broke– just apply a light squeeze, or a gentle “stage stomp,” and then the liches would die dramatically, and we’d glue the whole thing back together for another night. We ran the choreo and everything went perfectly.

I also mentioned that it wasn’t a big deal if we broke some of them.

Over the next couple days of rehearsals, we ran the fight scene a number of times. The actor playing Agnes broke one or two of the orbs– no biggie, we had extras, and anyway her choreography was kind of physical compared to everyone else’s, so I had sort of expected a couple of the orbs to get smashed in the crossfire.

What followed from the start of tech week to the end can only be called an orb massacre. What started as Agnes breaking one or two quickly became all of the actors breaking every orb. It was such a slaughter that I was convinced they were doing it on purpose. I’d said they only needed LIGHT pressure, I never said to blast them all to pieces!

We began running out of plastic balls. At notes after dress rehearsal, I asked the cast, “can we try not to smash so many of the orbs during the lich fight?”, and you would have thought I asked them to try doing the scene while levitating 3 feet off the ground.

Someone said, “but I thought you said we had backups!”

I said, “HAD backups, yes!” But not enough backups to replace every orb every night for a week!

We managed to scrape through all the performances with JUST enough– we had to use some orb halves that were only slightly cracked, but not totally busted, for the final show.

Admittedly, this was totally my fault– I should have been more clear. I’m taking an indignant tone for the sake of humor, but I understand where the mix-up occurred. Directing teaches you a lot about the critical importance of specific communication!

I’ll never forget the actors looking at me like I had five heads when I asked them not to break the things I didn’t know I’d apparently invited them to break. Lesson learned: Next time I’ll tell the actors that we don’t have ANY replacements and that they need to be EXTREMELY careful, I guess! 🙂

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Actor Life

10 Theatre Habits that make you Very Demure, Very Mindful

Posted on by Thtrthts

With my warmest applause for @joolieannie, whose viral TikTok video has earned her the money she needs for her transition!

1. You stay quiet while other actors are rehearsing

Being respectful of others while they are working is very cutesy, very demure. Making a bunch of noise at rehearsal is disrespectful of others’ time and energy, and plain old distracting. Treat others like you want to be treated!

      2. You learn your lines by (or even before) the off-book date

      When you’re the only one who isn’t prepared, it’s embarrassing for you, and it’s frustrating for everyone else. Not knowing your lines is a disaster waiting to happen! It also wastes time in rehearsal. Practicing your lines thoroughly ahead of time so you’re completely ready for the off-book date is very considerate.

      3. You communicate with your production staff

      If problems arise, you should immediately talk to your production staff so they can handle it. Being a clear communicator is very approachable. It helps you avoid bigger problems in the future.

      4. You take good care of your props, and don’t touch other people’s props

      Be careful with your props, as well as your costumes, and be especially careful with those that others need to use. There are few things worse than having something you need for a scene messed with by someone who had no business touching it in the first place– except maybe the bad feeling that comes from being the person who messed with the prop. Respecting other’s tracks in the show is very mindful.

      5. You pay close attention to the rehearsal schedule to avoid unexpected conflicts

      Calling out of rehearsal at the last minute creates a lot of problems for a lot of people. Keep your rehearsal schedule somewhere you have easy access to it, so you can reference it as needed to make sure you don’t accidentally overbook yourself. Being prepared for rehearsals is very cutesy.

      6. You come to rehearsals on time, and let the staff know if you’ll be late

      Being on time is a must. Inevitably, though, things will occasionally come up– we can’t always plan our way out of freak traffic blocks or unexpected car problems. If you are going to be late, it’s very considerate, very demure to tell the production staff ASAP. Make sure you have contact information for the appropriate people, so you can give them a heads up if something like this happens.

      7. You don’t eat in costume

      You shouldn’t eat in costume because of the potential for stains or crumbs to ruin the look your production’s costumer likely worked hard and spent money on. Respecting your costumer is very demure.

      8. You treat the production techs like human beings

      The stage carpenters, lighting designers, and audio technicians who make sure your production can happen are just as important as you are, mx. actor! Be very respectful, very demure in your communications with them. Don’t forget to treat them with kindness– and say thank you!

      9. You stay home if you’re sick

      Please, don’t come to rehearsal if you’re sick. Call on your understudies if you need them! Coming sick puts everyone’s health at risk. Putting others in harm’s way is not very cutesy.

      10. You stay professional with your fellow actors

      This means you treat each other well. But not too well. Stay away from that showmance until the production is over, girlies– it can cause real problems for the entire production. Let’s be mindful of everyone else’s boundaries and not get entangled with something that might make others uncomfortable.

      Let’s not forget to be demure, divas!

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